Mega Munch

WHAT'S FOR DESSERT?

2008-11-14T16:38:00.010-05:00

The thing about good meals – or any meal, for that matter – is that they all come to an end at some point. The last bite of a Whopper. Savor it. The final hickory barbecue wing. Bittersweet. The last spoonful of chocolate chip cookie dough. At least it’s got three pieces of cookie dough in it.

In many ways this blog, from March 11, 2006 until the present day, has been one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Which is why, after 32 months and 453 posts, it’s difficult to admit that this post is my final bite. Oh sure, I could keep eating for many more months – years probably – but you gotta pay the bill and leave sometime, right?

I’ll still be around though. On MySpace, on EatFeats, on Flickr (it'll always be a sort of photo blogging extension of Mega Munch) and commenting on other CE blogs. And if you want to contact me via email, feel free (shoffner1974@yahoo.com).

As for the UEPa, we'll still be meeting and conquering restaurant challenges throughout the state. I'll also still keep on eating competitively in real life (I’ll never stop doing that), but my energy levels when it comes to food blogging just aren’t what they used to be and I didn’t want to simply disappear like so many bloggers do, into thin air with no explanation. I may even start a new blog. Something about baseball statistics or weird things found on eBay. I’ve got a few other ideas too.

It’s been a great ride and I won’t completely rule out a comeback here on MM, but for now I’m stepping away from the food blogging table. A huge thanks to everyone who has read and commented here over the years. This thing started out as a stupid blog about competitive eating and it turned into a stupid blog about competitive eating that actually gained a few readers. I hope to be half as lucky with my future blogging endeavors.

And so, I’ll leave everyone with three things I’ve learned during my time as the author of Mega Munch:

1. Adding ranch dressing to almost anything will increase your capacity by up to 10 percent. The same is true for competing against friends.

2. Bite, chew, swallow, repeat. If unable to complete steps three and four, perform any or all of the following: heave and feign nausea, jump up and down, press on stomach and wince painfully, fake step one and continue step two, throw remaining food items at crowd and/or fellow competitors.

3. When it comes to oversized food items, size and quality are inversely proportional. Exceptions: Ice cream sundaes, hot dogs, and the yet-to-be-created giant piece of bacon.

Speaking of bacon, I’ll leave you all with one last mouth-watering image. Thanks for reading, keep on eating, and don’t forget to tip the wait staff.

HOPE AND CHEESEBURGERS

2008-11-03T09:50:00.007-05:00

Remember: A vote for Obama is a vote for thick, juicy cheeseburgers. In fact, I think I read something in his Blueprint for America about investing in burger-related ventures. If he wins, I'm celebrating with a caribou burger!

COFFEE DRINKERS ARE SMART PEOPLE

2008-10-29T16:42:00.005-04:00

If there's one thing I can't live without in the morning, it's coffee. That includes mornings when I've got an eating contest. I don't care what the caffeine might do to my appetite, the absence of it would do worse things to my psyche.

Normally I have my morning cup at home. Morning road trips warrant an extra cup at a gas station. I was in one of Harrisburg's several 7-Eleven stores a few weeks ago and they're running something called the "7 Election." Java junkies can cast their "vote" for president by filling up with either a blue Obama cup or a red McCain cup. Undecideds (really? still?) can opt for the non-descript standard cup.

The results of the poll are tracked on 7-Election.com. State by state and nationally.

The store I visited is in a particularly urban part of Harrisburg known as Penbrook, which might explain why there were four towering stacks of McCain cups available and only two (count 'em, two) Obama cups left. But before you dismiss the accuracy of the poll by saying more 7-Eleven's are located in urban, left-leaning areas or that conservatives prefer Starbucks, consider these facts from the 7-Election website:

In 2000, the first year 7-Eleven ran the poll, George Bush's cup outsold Al Gore's cup by just one percentage point.

In 2004, Bush won again, beating John Kerry's cup by a 51-49 percent margin. Those totals tracked identically with real national election results.

Pretty accurate, huh? So what are the results so far in this year's coffee showdown? In the 30 states in which 7-Eleven stores are located, Obama is beating McCain in every state except North Carolina (McCain's up 59-51) and New Hampshire (a tie). Nationally, Obama is winning 60 percent to 40 percent.

Check out the numbers for yourself here. And to locate a 7-Eleven near you and cast your vote, check out the store finder here. I recommend the Columbian Dark Roast.

CUP OR CONE? YOU DECIDE ON NOVEMBER 4TH

2008-10-24T16:30:00.005-04:00

Seriously, that's one of the issues you have to consider when you cast your vote for President on November 4. Both candidates have been spotted making ice cream pit stops on the campaign trail. Planned photo ops, I'm sure, but indulging their sweet tooth nonetheless.

Barack Obama and Joe Biden stopped in a small town north of Pittsburgh at the Windmill Ice Cream Shop. Barack chose a scoop of butter pecan on a cone. Joe ordered TWO vanilla and chocolate cones, admitting to his running mate "I may have vices but this is my biggest one. I ran for vice president just so I could get ice cream.” That's my kind of veep. You think Dick Cheney likes ice cream that much? Somehow I doubt it.

McCain and Sarah Palin have also stopped the Straight Talk Express long enough to grab a scoop or two. Interestingly, both opted for dishes instead of cones. McCain's was a medium chocolate.

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole dish versus cone thing. I've been known to try both myself. Depends on the mood, I guess. But you have to admit, there's something comforting about a candidate who chooses a cone. No spoons. Just enjoying the ice cream one lick at a time.

That sort of person isn't afraid to roll up his sleeves, get his hands dirty and do what it takes to get the job done. Whether that job is cleaning out the garage or cleaning up the environment. Or providing accessible healthcare for all Americans. Or even rolling back tax breaks for corporations that ship job overseas. Anyhow, don't forget to vote on November 4th. Especially if you live in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, Indiana, Missouri or North Carolina.

PIZZA BURGER CONTEST RESULTS

2008-10-23T14:49:00.008-04:00

Battle pizza burger is in the books and after a week of voting, Wild Bill's open faced creation is the clear winner, with 14 votes. My saucy, peppery burger finished second with six votes, followed by Skinnyboy's creation with four votes. Congrats Wild Bill!

Now I know there were some ballot stuffing accusations surrounding the sheer number of votes for Wild Bill's burger on Wild Bill's own blog (I didn't count the one anonymous comment), but I believe we've got a fair contest here and his novel outside-the-bun thinking is what won him this contest. At left are the burgers (click to enlarge). Mine on top, Bill's in the middle, and Skinnyboy's on the bottom.

I have to say, I loved my burger. It's definitely not the pizza burger you remember from high school. I started with a layer of pepperoni on the bottom bun topped with a pan fried 6 ounce 80 percent lean beef burger patty smothered in two thick slices of mozzarella cheese. I used Newman's Own marinara spaghetti sauce (it was the thickest I could find) and topped that with a few slices of crisp onion and green pepper. The great thing about this burger was that it really did taste like a pizza AND a burger. You could taste every ingredient in every bite, but the pepper was definitely the star of the show.

Thanks to everyone for voting. I think our next burger is going to be a burger packed between two grilled cheese sandwiches (as seen here and suggested by Skinnyboy). Can wait to see how that comes out.

BURGER SHOWDOWN #2: PIZZA BURGERS

2008-10-16T14:27:00.011-04:00

You may remember, Skinnyboy won our first burger showdown with his peanut butter burger. Now we're back in our second face-off and we're joined by fellow competitive eater and burger lover, Wild Bill.

Below, in no particular order, are all three burgers. Please vote with a comment which burger -- #1 (top), #2 (middle) or #3 (bottom) -- you think looks the best ("best" being a subjective term and meaning whatever you'd like it to). Sorry, no anonymous votes will be counted. Like Wild Bill said on his blog, it's too bad you can't taste these burgers, because I'm sure all three are delicious. Good luck, guys!

YOU MOTHER F@#&ERS

2008-10-07T14:14:00.003-04:00

If you've read the comments from my last post, you'll know that I'm being terrorized. A few months ago, during our "Six Pack Challenge" (six burgers/six beers), I misplaced my prized Mega Munch towel. I've been using it in contests for years. It's never been washed.

Now, a mysterious group calling themselves "The Light Elves" (a not-so-subtle play on my fantasy football team name "The Dark Elves") is holding the towel hostage and is threatening to cut it into pieces unless I meet their demands. They've even posted a photo of it online.

Like I said in my comment, my appetite hasn't been the same since I lost that towel and I really could have used it during my recent whoopie pie contest. All I can say to The Light Elves is: Let's talk.

IF I COULD EAT ONLY ONE THING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, IT WOULD BE PIZZA

2008-10-01T13:01:00.006-04:00

I've always believed that Palumbos, the pizza shop just down the street from my apartment, serves the best pizza in central Pennsylvania. I'm not the only one either. What's great about it is the selection of unusual pizzas. There's a pizza made with beef and topped with crispy french fries and drizzled with ranch dressing. There's also a chicken parm pizza and a meat lovers pizza that defy explanation.

But despite these odd concoctions, they do stay true to the originals and when I order a whole pie, it's almost always a large with pepperoni. By the way, at Palumbos you'll never find the abomination masquerading as pizza known as the "taco pizza."

My favorite gourmet slice is the chicken cordon bleu pizza. It's a white pizza with a cheesy base topped with chicken, slices of ham and topped with a blend of white cheeses. Unbelievable. But not as unbelievable as the real thing, which Shanna cooked to perfection the other night with a side of roasted asparagus and mashed potatoes. Until they start putting that on the pizza too, it's no contest.

RESULTS OF THE PEANUT BUTTER BURGER BATTLE

2008-09-25T16:33:00.015-04:00

You may remember last week Skinnyboy and I faced off in a battle to see who could make the best looking peanut butter topped burger (inspired by a similarly nutty burger I posted here on Mega Munch). Without identifying the chef, we posted both burgers (below) and allowed the votes to pour in on both of our blogs.

On the right are both burgers -- Skinnyboy's burger on top and mine on the bottom. The winner, by a score of 12 votes to 9 (counting Ian's diplomatic vote for both burgers), was Skinnyboy! Congratulations! I'll admit I thought the bacon would earn me more votes than it did. I also thought the two patties would be a good idea but, in retrospect, it seems a little much. In either case, it was a hard fought battle!

As for the taste of these burgers, to answer Steakbellie's question, the burger actually tasted surprisingly good! I'd highly recommend trying it sometime. For my topping, I didn't just use peanut butter. Instead, I combined peanut butter with a little coconut milk and soy sauce and microwaved it for a satay-inspired spread. Add a little bit of the latter two ingredients at a time until you get the taste you're looking for.

Next up in the Skinnyboy vs. Mega Munch Battle of the Burgers: Pizza burgers!

HICKMAN THREE-PEATS AS WHOOPIE PIE EATING CHAMPION

2008-09-21T10:30:00.009-04:00

I'm eating a cream cheese and vanilla whoopie pie as I write this. As if consuming over two dozen mini pies yesterday wasn't enough, I had to buy 20 of various flavors and stockpile them in my freezer. (There was a clearance sale after the festival ended.)

This year's Whoopie Pie Festival was bigger and better than the last which, according to the organizers, was bigger and better than the one before that. Seems the buzz about the whoopie pie eating contest, which serves as the closing event every year, really attracts a crowd. Ian and his hollow leg helps too.

The official results are as follows: Ian "The Invader" Hickman won with 45 pies in three minutes(he ate 60 last year, but more on the lower numbers later). James and I tied with 25 for second place (he also tied me last year with 30), followed by Tim "Obi Wing Kinobi" and his awesome shirt with 21.

As always, I'll let the pictures tell the story.

The whoopie pie eating contest wasn't the only event on the calendar. There was also whoopie pie checkers, a whoopie pie launch, a whoopie pie race and a whoopie pie yell off. No word on whether my suggestion of a whoopie pie food fight will be added to next year's roster.

Each eater was given five plates of 10 pies each. At the bottom of this post, I used this image and the same image from last year to prove that the pies were larger this year.

Ian, me, Tim and James chowing down. Tim's shirt says "Is it considered cheating if you eat your opponent?" I would say no.

Eaters were given the choice between water and milk. I chose milk. Ian brought his own concoction, which looked like water, but who knows. I do know he was eating like a slob because a river of water and whoopie pie cream was running off the table onto my feet.

Ian and his sweet belt.

In addition to this kick ass belt, Ian also won some free passes to gorge on the Hershey Farm & Restaurant's legendary home cooked buffet. After the contest, he and his brother hit the buffet before heading home.

Even before the contest started, Ian suspected the pies were a little larger than last year. I wasn't sure, but after comparing an image from last year with an image from this year (note the size of my thumb against the pies), it becomes clear that Ian was right, which explains why our 2008 totals were down from our 2007 numbers.

A full set of pictures can be seen here.

BIG WHOOP

2008-09-18T09:46:00.006-04:00

Just a reminder that the whoopie pie contest is this Saturday at 2:30 pm in Lancaster. Check out the specifics here. There is no advanced registration. Just show and get on the list, but you should probably show up at least an hour early (you'll be able to catch the Whoopie Yell Off at 2pm). I may compete in that as well. I've been practicing.

Carey and Joel cannot make it, so it looks like it'll be me and Ian. Jill? Gooey Sean? Anyone else?

THE SKINNYBOY VS. MEGA MUNCH PEANUT BUTTER BURGER-OFF!

2008-09-15T08:26:00.007-04:00

Last week, in response to my post about the strange yet alluring peanut butter-topped Jiffy Burger, Skinnyboy challenged me to a "Peanut Butter Burger Off." Each of us would make a peanut butter topped burger and post photos on our blogs and allow readers to vote for which burger they think looks best. So that's what we did this past weekend and I have to say, as odd as peanut butter on a burger sounds, it actually tasted incredible.

As far as judging the burgers, "best" can mean whatever you want it to, but I'm guessing it means, if you have both of these burgers sitting in front of you and you could only eat one, which would you choose? Below are the burgers. Feel free to leave a comment voting for burger #1 (the top) or burger #2 (the bottom). Sorry, no anonymous votes allowed!

"WIFE SWAP" SEEKS COMPETITIVE EATING FAMILIES

2008-09-12T12:51:00.004-04:00

I received the following inquiry via e-mail. This is the same show Badlands was featured on a year or two ago. If anyone fits the bill, feel free to contact her! Oh, and be sure to tell her I referred you so I can get that $1,000 referral prize. Why should you tell her I referred you? Because I'll give you half of it!

My name is Amanda Gershkowitz and I am a Casting Associate Producer for ABC families hit reality show 'Wife Swap.' We are currently casting for our fifth season and we are looking for families WHERE MOM AND/OR DAD IS A COMPETITIVE EATER! We cast everywhere from Maine to California , and this would bring a fun and unique dynamic to the show.

The premise of Wife Swap is simple: for seven days, two wives from two different families with very different values exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover what it's like to live a different family's life. It's an interesting social experiment and a great way to see your family in a whole new light. It is shot as a documentary series, so NO scripts and no set. It's just one camera that is documenting your life.

Families that appear on the show will receive a financial honorarium for lost wages, time and commitment. And if you refer a family that appears on the show you would receive $1000. Here at 'Wife Swap' we look for a two-parent home with at least one child between the ages of 6 and 17 living at home full time.

If you are interested, please email me your contact information and tell me a little about your family. Or if you would like to refer a family, please email me their contact information and I will be in touch. Thank you!

Amanda Gershkowitz
Casting Associate Producer, Wife Swap
amanda.gershkowitz@rdfnewyork.com

BURGER OF THE DAY

2008-09-10T12:22:00.002-04:00

The gem above is the Jiffy Burger from Fanny Ann's Saloon in Old Sacramento, CA. As for the topping, it's not cheese, it's peanut butter. I might have to make this thing very soon.

TRAINING DAY

2008-09-04T14:04:00.007-04:00

After my disappointing performance this past weekend in Hamburg, I've decided to embark on a crash training regimen to give me a boost in the whoopie pie contest coming up on September 20. (By the way, I spoke with the contest organizer and she informed me that there is no advanced registration for the contest. In her words, "Just show up before the contest and everyone who signs up will get to compete.")

Anyhow, I'll train every other day before the contest (starting tonight) and in each of the three days prior to the contest to increase my stomach capacity. I'll try different techniques, all of which include large quanties of low-calorie food chased with a liter or two of water. I realize my efforts might be "too little, too late" -- sort of like getting off the couch and running for two weeks to prepare for a marathon -- but it can't hurt, and even if it provides me with a mental edge, it's worth a shot.

My goal: To whoop Carey, Joel and Jill...and not let Hickman double up on me! Between now and then, I'll also be studying this video:

UPDATE: My first training session went pretty well. I can't say I enjoyed it, but it felt productive and it's inspired me to continue my regimen until game day on September 20.

IAN REPEATS AS UEPa HAMBURG-ER CHAMP

2008-08-31T21:36:00.005-04:00

Each year in Hamburg, PA, the United Eaters of Pennsylvania compete in the Taste of Hamburg-er Contest. Ian "The Invader" Hickman was the reigning champ and defended his title by winning this year's contest with 15 hamburgers eaten in 8 minutes (a two burger improvement over last year's total). Carey Poehlmann finished second with 9.5 burgers, followed by Joel Podelsky (9 burgers) and Dave Shoffner (7 burgers). All in all, it was a great performance by Ian and an awesome showdown between Carey and Joel.

Me digging into burger #3 or 4. I have to admit, I'm not happy with my performance. Last year I ate eight burgers. This year, I ate seven. I need to get my shit together and train or something.

Carey's fiancee Fiora decided before the contest to compete and turned in a respectable four burger performance.

Carey, me, Ian and Joel after the contest. Next stop for the UEPa: Whoopie pies in Lancaster on September 20. A full set of pics from the hamburger contest can be seen here.

COMPETITIVE EATING MOVIE SEEKS EATERS

2008-08-21T10:00:00.005-04:00

It's not every day you get a chance to be in a movie about something you love. Now's your chance. Some aspiring independent film makers are making a movie about competitive eating called "Nacho Mountain" and they're taping some of the big eating contest scenes this Saturday night outside Bethlehem, PA.

Here's the plea put forth by one of the production assistants in a comment on Eat Feats:

Any professional food eaters, not currently under contract, that are interested in being in the final food battle scene for Nacho Mountain and you live close to Lehigh Valley, PA (Bethlehem, PA), please email Dan at (email removed by request because shooting is complete). The final food battle is this saturday, you will be guaranteed screen time. come on out and eat!

I emailed Dan and gave me the green light (I didn't even have to audition!), but I realized that I have something else planned already for Saturday night and won't be able to go. If you're interested in making your indy film debut, Dan said they need more eaters, so e-mail him today. The shoot starts at 6pm and should wrap before midnight.

The good news is, the movie has its own IMDb page (some of the actors have real acting experience). The bad news is, the movie has it's own teaser poster and it's own teaser trailer on YouTube. View both at your own risk.

IT'S PROBABLY COORS LIGHT

2008-08-15T08:16:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, Eat Feats mentioned a video of Joey Chestnut and some other guy throwing down in a contest to see who can drink a pitcher of beer the fastest. Picking the winner of this one is like trying to figure out who's going to win a slam dunk contest between Lebron James and my mother. I mean, this is the guy who drank a gallon of milk in 41 seconds to gain entry into the 2006 Wing Bowl. Check out the contest below.

It kind reminds me of this video of a guy who drinks six beers in about 10 seconds.

DOMINOS SCIENTISTS TEST LIMITS OF WHAT HUMANS WILL EAT

2008-08-08T16:14:00.000-04:00

HAMBURGER EATING CONTEST DETAILS

2008-08-07T11:43:00.006-04:00

I just received an e-mail from the organizer of the Taste of Hamburg-er Festival about the hamburger eating contest. Here are the details:

DATE/TIME: Saturday, August 30 at 1:30 pm
LOCATION: Hamburg, PA
LENGTH: 8 minutes
PRIZE: Up to $250, plus a medal to the winner (first, second and third place breakdown of $250 to be determined)
REGISTRATION DEADLINE: Monday, August 18 at 5 pm. I've got the sign up form. E-mail me at shoffner1974@yahoo.com and I'll email it to you and you can fax it to the contest organizer.

The prize money is flexible. Our contact pushed hard to raise the prize budget from the $50 offered last year, and the board came up with the following proposal: "We will apply $50 to each "professional" contestant that shows up, up to a total of $250.00. In other words, if two professionals show, the prize would be $100. If three show up, the prize would be $150. If five or more show up, the prize would be $250."

The contest is limited to 10 contestants, so sign up sooner rather than later!

UEPa UNITE FOR THE ANNUAL HAMBURG, PA HAMBURGER EATING CONTEST!

2008-08-05T16:38:00.003-04:00

According to Hamburg, PA's local paper (thanks EatFeats) and some early communications with the organizers, the annual "Taste of Hamburg-er Festival" hamburger eating contest will take place on Saturday, August 30. In this year's contest, Ian will defend his title and try to top last year's 13 burger performance.

Ian (always the UEPa diplomat) has been in touch with the festival organizer about a few details, including the prize, which we're trying to raise from $50 to closer to $200. I'll keep you all posted when more information becomes available. I know I'll be there and I'm pretty sure Ian will be there. Anyone else?

THE CIRCUIT: Episode 6

2008-08-04T12:38:00.002-04:00

WHOOPIE PIES

2008-07-29T08:05:00.005-04:00

I was in Lancaster this past weekend and stopped by the Hershey Farm Restaurant, better known as the site of the annual Whoopie Pie Festival and whoopie pie eating contest. A flyer inside said the "amateur whoopie pie eating contest" would be held during the festival on September 20, a full month earlier than last year's contest.

I'm not sure if they emphasized the "amateur" requirement last year (I think they did), but seeing as how my career winnings total a whopping $25, I'm pretty sure I qualify. While I was there, I snapped a few pictures of some goats.

A-ROD NEEDS A NEW PRIVATE JET

2008-07-21T12:10:00.008-04:00

This past weekend I payed my first and last visit to Yankee Stadium before they tear down the place at the end of the season. Historically speaking, it's a great ballpark. Beyond that, it is what it is -- an 85-year-old building outdone by scores of newer stadium throughout the majors.

Like most parks, lunch will cost you a fortune. I should know this by now, but here's a lesson for you: Never go to the ballpark hungry. Three Nathan's dogs and a 16-ounce Bud Light ran me $23.50 (yeah, the beers are $8.50 each). Whenever I take out a loan to buy stadium food, I try not to do the grocery store equivalency math in my head, but I always do. It's usually followed by a devious yet somehow flawed plan to smuggle hot dogs into the next baseball game I attend.

Below is a shot of some Yankees cookies for sale in the stadium. I don't know how much they cost. Probably way more than a dry, bland sugar cookie should.

More pics from my trip to the Bronx can be seen here.

SEEN AT THE NATHAN'S FAMOUS HOT DOG EATING CONTEST

2008-07-17T07:49:00.005-04:00

Source: valjean615

MEETING MINUTES: THE UEPa AT GREGORY'S STEAKHOUSE

2008-07-14T16:32:00.006-04:00

Somehow, only 48 hours after attempting to eat the largest steak I've ever seen in my entire life, I'm actually hungry for a steak. The UEPa met at Gregory's Steakhouse in Allentown this weekend. One of us was successful in our attempt to consume Gregory's 120-ounce (7.5 pound) steak, but all of us had fun. I'll let the pics tell the tale.

Our waiter brought out our steaks two at a time. The sizzling platters were audible before he even entered the room. Sweet Jill Stoler, Ian Hickman and I each ordered the 120-ouncer, which came with a choice of potato side (a heaping plate of house potatoes, mashed potatoes, or fries) and a heaping plate of steamed broccoli. Wild Bill and family also ordered a 120 ouncer, but wisely decided to split it amongst the three of them. Shanna's steak, a 24-ounce ribeye, looked like a pork chop compared to our feasts.

Me, moments before digging in. We eached ordered one topping on our steaks. I ordered mushrooms, Jill went with onions and Ian opted for garlic butter. I would eat about four pounds of my steak in about an hour. Jill did about the same, including making a nice dent in her mashed potatoes (I should take this time to remind everyone that Jill is a strict vegetarian).

Somewhere around the 45 minute mark, I lapsed into a meat coma. The steak, while totalling 120 ounces (I assume, I forgot my scale) wasn't one massive slab of meat, but two giant 60 ounce steaks stacked on top of each other. Still, considering how taste and size of food items are inversely proportional, the steaks were pretty good.

The last bite for Ian "The Invader" Hickman. Before he started, we learned that if you finish the steak and sides, the meal is NOT free. That was the policy under old management, but our waiter was nice enough to pull some strings and get 10 percent knocked off of our $340 bill. Faced with this new lack of incentive, I made a deal with Ian: If he finished the steak in an hour, I'll pay for half of his $64 tab. If he finishes the steak AND sides in two hours, I'll pay for everything. He finished his 120-ounce steak in 58 minutes and 47 seconds and got his picture on the wall along side this kid.

Upon finishing the steak, Ian opted to build sculptures out of his garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli.

After we left Gregory's, we grabbed some ice cream at Ice Cream World (a triple scoop of Death by Chocolate for me). A full set of pics can be seen here. Also don't forget to check out Jill's write-up about the contest and the video's linked at the bottom of her entry. Next up for the UEPa: The North Philly Cheesesteak Tour (sometime in September).

GIANT STEAK NEWS RELEASEE

2008-07-11T10:18:00.015-04:00

Below is the news release that was sent to Allentown media in preparation for our Gregory's Steakhouse showdown. I know I omitted some eaters who will also be there, but I had reasons for doing so (y'all know what I'm talking about).

UNITED EATERS OF PENNSYLVANIA VISIT ALLENTOWN STEAKHOUSE TO ATTEMPT GIANT STEAK EATING RECORD

ALLENTOWN, Pa. (July 10, 2008) – On Saturday, July 12 at 3 p.m., the United Eaters of Pennsylvania (UEPa) will converge on Gregory's Steakhouse in Allentown, Pennsylvania to devour some of the largest steaks in the world. Ian "The Invader" Hickman will headline the event by attempting to consume Gregory's legendary 120 ounce ribeye, a meal noted on Gregory’s menu as “steak for 4.”

According to UEPa president Dave “Mega Munch” Shoffner, the competitive eating organization is open to “any Pennsylvanian with a love of food and an insatiable appetite.” The group, which meets for eating contests throughout the state, was founded in 2006 and boasts members from all corners of the Commonwealth, including Pittsburgh, Harrisburg and Philadelphia.

“If a restaurant has a giant food item on the menu, you can bet the UEPa will eat it,” said Shoffner. “We’re just happy the Gregory’s staff agreed to host our meeting. We may eat more food than is humanly possible, but we have very good table manners and we always tip well.”

According to the Gregory’s staff, several people have finished the giant steak, but no official timed eating record has been established. Hickman and several members of the UEPa, including honorary member “Sweet” Jill Stoler from Brooklyn, NY, will each try to set the speed mark by consuming the seven-and-a-half pound ribeye in under one hour.

Stoler, the newest UEPa addition and the organization’s lone female member, recently returned from a trip to Japan, where she and Hickman competed against Japan’s finest eaters in a televised competitive eating contest. Hickman’s conquests include 137 chicken wings in 30 minutes, 60 mini whoopie pies in three minutes and five-and-a-half pounds of frozen custard in six minutes. He counts the late comic, John Candy, as his inspiration during Saturday’s massive meal.

“He was a great man and a great eater,” said Hickman, referencing Candy’s steak-eating scene from the film The Great Outdoors. “Meat, gristle and fat; he ate it all and never complained.”

# # #

In related news, I could find only one picture of the giant steaks on Flickr (here) and it's weird, because I used to work with the guy on the left in that picture. I e-mailed him and asked about the steaks. He said the seven guys in his group split four steaks among them and that the steaks were okay ("good steaks, but it's quantity, not quality"). He also mentioned that you don't actually get one giant 120 ounce steak, but several large steaks that equal 120 ounces (kind of a bummer). I'll bring my scale tomorrow.

STEAKS THIS WEEKEND: "EAT IT AND IT'S FREE" SAYS GREGORY'S

2008-07-09T13:23:00.004-04:00

The reservation has been set for Gregory's Steakhouse. We're on for this Saturday at 3 pm. I know of about seven people who have told me they're coming, but I made the reservation for 10 people just to be safe.

I spoke with the nice woman who answered the phone and explained our intentions (devouring giant steaks). She said Gregory's DOES have an eat-it-all-and-it's-free offer on the 120 ounce steak. That's good news for my wallet, because now I won't have to pay for Hickman's meal if he finishes the beast.

She said there's no time limit (that she knows of) and if you conquer the steak, you not only get a free meal, you also get your picture on the wall. According to the woman, many people have eaten it, including an 8-year-old (some kid back in 1992 named Joseph Chestnut). She wasn't aware of any speed records, but I'm thinking anything under an hour would be an admirable performance. Now that I know it's free if you eat it, I might actually give it a shot. I mean, if a third-grader can do it, how hard can it be?

CONEY ISLAND CRAZINESS

2008-07-03T08:26:00.004-04:00

It's hard to say what Takeru Kobayashi is capable of doing tomorrow on Coney Island (noon on ESPN and again at 1pm). He hasn't really competed since last July 4th. Forget the sad spectacle that was his nationally televised, injury-plagued MLE Chowdown. It's safe to assume he's healthy again, emotionally and physically, and, with his new ketchup and mustard colored hair, he's hungrier than ever to take back the belt that he wore for the better part of the new millenium.

In tomorrow's shorter 10-minute contest, I see Koby edging Joey Chestnut by a full three hot dogs. 59 to 56. And then, with his legacy intact, the seven-time champion will finally retire.

By the way, there's a hot dog eating game on the ESPN website. It's addictive and fun. Drag and drop hot dogs into the stereotypically slobbish eater's mouth. The faster dogs are worth more points. I downed 90 HDBs. Beat that, Joey Chestnut!

BEHIND THE SCENES AT YUENGLING BREWERY

2008-07-01T13:24:00.002-04:00

Last year I took a tour of the Yuengling brewery in Pottsville, PA. As many of you may know, they're America's oldest brewery and the makers of the pride of Pennsylvania, Yuengling Lager. During the tour, I shot this two minute video of the bottling operations.

NATHAN'S FAMOUS QUALIFIER (CAMDEN, NJ)

2008-06-30T08:02:00.009-04:00

It was a hot day in Camden (hotter than it looked and hotter than it felt if you were only outside for a few minutes), but it was a good day for Eric "Badlands" Booker to come out of his two-year retirement to win the final East Coast qualifier for the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Badlands scarfed down 27.5 dogs, followed by Buffalo Jim Reeves (22) and Steakbellie (20.75). Full rankings can be seen here. It was a big day for Steakbellie. Even though he didn't win, he surpassed a personal goal -- his first ever 20+ hot dog performance.

Before the contest, the eaters relaxed in the air conditioning of the Nathan's restaurant. Here, Badlands spins a tale about the old days while Steakbellie and Little Steak hang on every word (well, one of them did).

Some of Camden's finest enjoy the day.

Here's Steakbellie (second from right) early in the contest, looking as focused as a really focused laser beam. To his right is Badlands Booker and Wing Kong. Badlands, in a nod to his old friend Takeru Kobayashi, let his rivals take the first bite and waited about six seconds after the contest started before digging in. Very cool.

A full set of pics can be seen here.

IT'S OFFICIAL: NEXT UEPa MEETING IS JULY 12

2008-06-27T08:11:00.008-04:00

On Saturday, July 12 at 3 p.m., the United Eaters of Pennsylvania (UEPa) will converge on Gregory's Steakhouse in Allentown, Pennsylvania to devour some of the largest steaks in the world. Ian "The Invader" Hickman will headline the event by attempting to consume Gregory's legendary 120 ounce ribeye (noted on the menu as "steak for 4"). If he completes the feat, UEPa President Dave Shoffner will pay the $63.99 tab and never talk trash on Hickman again.

Ian, we need to agree on a suitable amount of time in which you have to finish this beast. I'll let you make the first suggestion with a comment. Suggestions from others would be helpful too. As for me, I'm going with the 72-ounce ribeye. That's four-and-a-half pounds of beef. More than enough to hold me over until dessert.

I'll make the reservation at Gregory's later next week. Who's coming?

THE NEXT UEPa MEETING: STEAKS IN ALLENTOWN?

2008-06-24T13:02:00.004-04:00

I hate to admit it, but Ian made a good point in the last post about the somewhat low incentive to visit RU Hungry in State College and annihiliate the Fat Bitch sandwich. With that in mind, I payed a visit to the challenges database over on EatFeats (we love you, OJ) and found a place called Gregory's Steakhouse in Allentown, PA.

Gregory's is sort of like the Big Texan of the north, complete with a website claim of "the biggest and best steak you'll ever have." The Big Texan has a legendary 72-ounce steak challenge and Gregory's also has a 72-ouncer on its menu. They've got a 96-ouncer and a 120-ouncer too, but I don't think anyone is man enough to try those (except for John Candy in The Great Outdoors).

I don't know if Gregory's has an "eat it and it's free" incentive, but I'll bet I can talk them into it if I tell them the UEPa is coming and bringing some media attention with us. If so, would anyone be up for giant steaks on July 12 or 13?

THE NEXT UEPa MEETING: RU HUNGRY?

2008-06-20T07:47:00.007-04:00

WHERE: RU Hungry, State College, PA

WHEN: July 12 or 13?

MENU: Fat Bitch sandwiches (cheesesteak topped with french fries, chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks) and other RU Hungry menu items (the Fat Lion: cheesesteak, hamburger, chicken fingers, bacon, gyro meat, mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers).

According to the article linked above, the UEPa's own Big Brian Subich put down a Fat Lion in 1:48. That might be something to shoot for during our trip...and then keep eating, of course. Let me know if that weekend is good or bad for anyone. Below is a pic of the Bitch. The description sounds better than the sandwich looks, but either way, I'm looking forward to eating a few of these things.

SUMMER OF GLUTTONY: THE SIX PACK CHALLENGE

2008-06-17T08:12:00.009-04:00

I'd like to say it's taken me this long to recover from our "Six Pack Challenge" on Friday. That's why I've been a lazy blogger. It's not true, but I will admit that eating six McDonalds double cheeseburgers and downing six beers was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in competitive eating. And I didn't even finish.

On paper it seems simple. Six double cheeseburgers. No problem. Six beers. In college, that's called "dinner." But it's not easy. It's hell. Six greasy fast food burgers is what it is, but the beers...that's where they get ya. That's SEVENTY TWO OUNCES of carbonated malt beverage (just over half a gallon) and it doesn't like to go down fast along side the aforementioned burgers.

Here we are getting ready. We started out strong. My strategy was to eat all the burgers, washing them down with one or two beers and then drink the remaining beers. Ian chose to combine all his beef patties on one burger and then use the remaining buns to "soak up the beer in his stomach." Beau went with the one-and-one approach -- one burger, one beer, repeat.

In the end, Beau won, taking his last bite and last gulp of Miller Lite just past the 34 minute mark. An eternity, sure, but don't knock it until you try it. The contest ended -- thank God -- when Beau finished, leaving me with two beers remaining (Coors Light). Ian, Jeremy and Billy all tied for third, each with either one beer and two burgers or two burgers and one beer leftover. John followed with two burgers and three beers to go.

This is me somewhere around minute 20. I've never felt so sick during an eating contest as I did right here, but I still managed to get down another beer-and-a-half after this.

This is one of my favorite shots from the contest. Here we see Ian's 10 patty monstrosity and him looking forward to eating the other half.

If I had it all to do over again, and knowing the contest stretched past half an hour, I might have adopted the strategy suggested afterwords by my father. Drink the beers first and then eat the burgers. Not only would the drunkeness make me hungry (we've all been there), but the drunkeness might have numbed the nausea caused by ingesting 2,800 calories of fast food. PLUS, by the time I got around to the burgers, some of the liquid might have left my stomach. Would it have worked? I'll never know because there's no way in hell I'll ever try it again.

A full set of pics can be seen here. Next up in our office Summer of Gluttony is cake!

WANTED: SOME BINGE EATING/DRINKING ADVICE

2008-06-09T08:00:00.006-04:00

Speaking of cheeseburgers, this Friday is our "Six Pack Challenge" at work. Six McDonalds double cheeseburgers and six 12-ounce beers. First to finish, wins.

It's the second event in our Summer of Gluttony series and it's one that many people are looking forward to competing in. There aren't many rules to this contest. You can eat the burgers and drink the beers in any order you'd like. The beers can be whatever brand or type you'd prefer (a few competitors have publicly annouced Miller Lite as their brew-of-choice). You can pour the beers into a pitcher if you want. The only rule we've agreed upon is that you cannot funnel or shotgun the beers.

I'll probably go with good ol' fashioned High Life as my beverage and pour the beers into three large glasses. The first two will be used to wash down the burgers and the last will be gulped at the end. Is chugging 24 ounces of beer after eating six burgers a good idea? Maybe not. Should I chug three beers FIRST and then get started on the burgers (drinking the last three beers during the eating process)? I'm open to suggestions.

CHEESEBURGERS ARE THE FOUNDATIONS OF CIVILIZATION

2008-05-30T08:34:00.003-04:00

Or something like that. The photographer offers no explaination or creative rationale for why he chose to prop everyday objects (including irons, bibles, and lawn chairs) up on cheeseburgers, but he doesn't really have to. Check the entire set out for yourself here.

LUNCH

2008-05-20T08:27:00.003-04:00

BURGERS AND (ROOT) BEERS?

2008-05-15T08:32:00.003-04:00

We’ve been asked to amend our next Summer of Gluttony eating challenge here at the office (six burgers and six beers). The six pack didn’t pass the “no binge drinking at work” test (I figured it wouldn’t). So, we’ve got a few options:

- "Reconsider the quantity of beers”

- Use six root beers

- Use milk shakes

- Use non-alcoholic beer (screw that)

- Use some combination of beer and other beverages (three beers and a large milkshake?)

- Keep the six-pack and move the contest to a non-office location (Beau's suggestion)

Thoughts?

THE SUMMER OF GLUTTONY: CEREAL

2008-05-13T07:51:00.006-04:00

The Rice Krispies were flying last night in the conference room, but when the dust had settled and the milk had dried, I emerged as the winner of our office cereal eating contest. It was the first showdown in our Summer of Gluttony eating series.

My cereal of choice was Raisin Bran and I finished my one pound plus one quart of milk in 6 minutes and 13 seconds. Beau (Red Berries Special K) pushed me hard throughout the contest (as he usually does) and finished right behind me with a time of 7:15. Our rookie eater, Mary, chose Life and drank the last of her milk at the 16:10 mark. She likely would have finished sooner, had Jeremy not been making retching sounds during the last two minutes of her attempt. John went with Rice Krispies – a decision that proved to be his downfall (his puffed Krispies filled two giant bowls, each the size of the vessels Beau and I used to hold our grub) – and tossed in the towel after he downed his first bowl.

Here’s a shot of the four of us just prior to digging in. A full set of pics can be seen here. As for the next Summer of Gluttony contest, it’s the “Six Pack Challenge” – six McDonalds double cheeseburgers and a six pack of beer on June 6.

To set the mood during the contest, we played this video on the conference room TV. Thirty kick ass minutes of 80’s cartoon intros. I got a little distracted by Inspector Gadget, but finished in time to catch Heathcliff.

TWO SCOOPS OF WHOOP ASS

2008-05-08T10:12:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow is our office cereal eating contest. The first event in our Summer of Gluttony. After a training run with a box of Life cereal and taking into consideration the suggestions everyone offered here on Mega Munch, I've decided to make Raisin Bran my cereal of choice during tomorrow's showdown.

Based on my training run last week, this contest will be the quickest office eating event we've ever had. I don't want to discourage any of the competition, but I will say the contest will be over in less than 10 minutes.

UPDATE: The contest has been rescheduled for Monday, May 12.

DOG FOOD AND NAKED BOWLING

2008-05-06T08:07:00.008-04:00

On Saturday, Beau and I ran a lot. We also took the bus a lot. I did more running than I've done in a long time. I did more bus taking than I've done in my entire life. It was all for City Chase, the one-day "Fear Factor meets Amazing Race" event I was telling you about the other day. 250 teams, one winner.

We finished 69th, with a time of 4 hours, 59 minutes. We're happy with that. We finished all 10 of our tasks and still had time for beers and burgers at the afterparty. Many teams didn't even finish their tasks, but they still had fun. I was hoping for some eating challenges, and I got one at a pet store on Market Street in Old City. We had to match photos of ten obscure dog breeds with their breed name. We got two wrong (what the hell is a Borzoi?), which means I had to eat some dry dog food. Get more than four wrong and you eat wet dog food.

Here's a shot of me in action (no hands was the rule). It actually tasted pretty good. They were gourmet dog treats. Sorta like low grade beef jerky.

A full set of pics can be seen here. The captions explain it all, but we didn't get pictures of everything. We shot hoops at the YMCA in South Philly, got piggy back rides from strangers, found clues at the Eastern State Penitentiary, got eight-foot pythons stuffed down our shirts (video soon to be posted on YouTube) and played Twister in the park with strangers. We also did some Naked Bowling.

THE SUMMER OF GLUTTONY HAS ARRIVED!

2008-05-01T08:06:00.006-04:00

As most of you know, eating contests are a regular occurance here at the advertising agency where I work. Pizza, fastnachts, chicken nuggets, chinese food, giant burgers, tacos, even partially formed chicken fetuses (never again).

To take our inter-office competitions to the next level, we've created "The Summer of Gluttony" -- a monthly series of five eating throwdowns. Here’s how it will work: Eaters will earn points based on their finish in each contest (10 points for a first place finish, 7 for second, 5 for third, 3 for fourth, 1 for fifth and below). Each eater's lowest contest score will be discarded, which means you can miss a contest if you have to. The eater with the most points at the end of “The Summer of Gluttony” will be named the champion.

Below is the schedule. All dates are a Friday, all times 5:15 pm, all locations are conference room. And yes, there will be a trophy.

MAY 9 – Cereal (16 oz. of cereal (eater's choice) plus one quart of milk)
JUNE 6 – “6 Pack Challenge” (6 McDonald’s double cheeseburgers and 6 12-ounce beers of the eater’s choice)
JULY 11 – Cake (size and type TBD)
AUGUST 8 – Neato Burrito (2 burritos from our local giant burrito place)
SEPT 5 – End of Summer Barbeque (potato salad, baked beans, hot dogs, deviled eggs, apple pie, etc)

The cereal contest is coming up next Friday. The good news is, one of our biggest fans, Mary, has agreed to participate and has all but guaranteed victory. I still need to decide which cereal I'll be devouring. I'm thinking it's going to be something with flakes. Frosted Flakes maybe. Or maybe Raisin Bran. I'll probably do a half-box/one quart run through this weekend, just to see what I'm up against.

CITY CHASE!

2008-04-29T18:15:00.007-04:00

Well, I still don't know when and where the next UEPa meeting will be, but I do know that I'll be in Philly this weekend with Beau. We'll be taking part in something called The City Chase. It's a one-day race around Philadelphia -- described as a cross between Fear Factor and The Amazing Race -- with the winner advancing to the national race later this year. With 300 other teams pitted against us, our chances of winning are slim, but it should be a good time nonetheless.

There will be lots of running and physical stunts as well as some mental tests. I hope there will also be some Fear Factor-like eating challenges. I saw a City Chase video of someone eating a grub. I can do grubs. I can't do eyeballs and testicles, but I guess I'd give it a go if I really had to. Afterwards, we hope to do a few cheesesteaks.

And here's a look at how they do it Down Under.

THE NEXT UEPa MEETING?

2008-04-27T17:39:00.004-04:00

It's definitely eatin' season again. For that reason, the UEPa needs to start thinking about its next meeting. Ian emailed me and reminded me about the annual August hamburger eating contest in Hamburg, PA (which they will be doing again), but we have to meet before then.

We should meet in May. Will it be to eat giant pancakes at the Niner Diner (or try their burger challenge again)? Will it be for the North Philly Cheesesteak tour (remember the South Philly tour?)? Will it be another meeting at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub? Or will it be something completely different? I'm open to suggestions. To get the creative juices flowing, here's a sweet picture of some cheesey hot dogs.

EAT THIS BLOG!

2008-04-23T08:43:00.006-04:00

As first reported on EatFeats, the world of competitive eating blogging has two new high profile members now that Joey and Pat have begun co-authoring a blog over on YardBarker. They must have noticed that I stopped writing for a while and felt the need to fill the void with some chatter of their own. Or they just got really bored during the off season.
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To state the obvious, it's pretty awesome that Chestnut and Bertoletti are online and talking. I'm looking forward to checking in regularly (I've added them to my blogroll in case you ever need the link). We need more inside perpectives from top ranked eaters and they're the #1 and #2 eaters in the world, so you can't get much more inside or top-ranked than that.

I'M BACK AND HUNGRY

2008-04-21T16:35:00.003-04:00

Back from my self-imposed "blogcation" that is. (You like that? "Blogcation." It's like a vacation from blogging. I just made that up, but feel free to use it or add it to the list of other annoying blogging-related terms. Damn, it looks like I'm not the only person to use that unoriginal mash-up.)

Of course, the last 19 days have been the longest I've ever gone without a post here on Mega Munch. My longest fast before that was four or five days. I should have warned you all that I was stepping away from the table for a bit. I really just did it to cleanse the palate before the start of the competitive eating season.

Anyhow, lots of topics kicking around my head. I'll be sure to cover them all. For now, I'll leave you with this image of my nephew, Colby, throwing down on his cake at his second birthday party this past weekend. He's even striking the signature Mega Munch pose, just like his Uncle Dave. More pics here.

"A HOT DOG AT THE BALLPARK IS BETTER THAN A STEAK AT THE RITZ." (HUMPHREY BOGART)

2008-04-02T07:57:00.003-04:00

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

2008-04-01T13:04:00.006-04:00

As some of you know, in my day job I work in an advertising agency (my picture is on that website somewhere). Specifically, I work in public relations and even more specifically I do a lot of writing and advise clients on how they can use blogs to sell more widgets. One of our clients -- Turkey Hill Dairy -- has a blog called The Ice Cream Journal. It's a fun little project that gets about 1,000 visitors per day and tons of comments on every post and it's one of the reasons I love my job.

Taking a cue from March Madness, Turkey Hill is doing something on the blog called "The Ultimate Flavor Tournament." It started with 16 flavors of ice cream facing off in sidebar polls with winners advancing to the next round each week. This is the final week. Vanilla Bean versus Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup for all the marbles.

Honestly, I don't know how Vanilla Bean cruised through the first three rounds and into the finals. I mean, seriously, it's vanilla. The flavor is synonymous with "plain." Most of the commenters who support vanilla point to its versatility and its ability to be topped with so many different things. That's a little unfair because the poll doesn't ask you to vote for "Vanilla Bean with chocolate syrup, peanuts and a cherry on top." Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup, however, has all of that delicious goodness already built in.

Feel free to register your vote on the Ice Cream Journal, but only if you're voting for Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup. Seriously, don't even think about voting for vanilla. I mean it.

BASEBALL, BRUSSELS LACE, AND HONEY TANG

2008-03-27T08:21:00.006-04:00

Well, I'm back from Spring Training in Florida and it looks like I can't bring the fastball like I used to, so it's back to advertising for now. Beau and I ate a lot of fast food during our road trip. Drank a lot of beers too. I weighed myself when I left and again when I got back (in the morning both times) and was simultaneously disappointed and relieved to learn that I only gained one pound. That's right, my body is Whopper-and-Corona-processing machine.

This is me a few hours into our road trip. My meatless Lent ended 15 minutes before this photo was taken and I was ready to celebrate.

We grabbed some beers and lunch at some crab shack down south on our way back home. I got a shrimp po' boy and some local brew. I've always been fascinated by the shapes the beer suds make when they cling to the sides of the glass. The funny thing is, the more you drink, the more fascinating they get. Beau said those suds are called Brussels Lace.

We spotted this road side sign at a crossroads in central Florida on our way to Port St. Lucie for the Mets game. I'm not sure what honey tang is, but it sounds really good. So does gator jerky. Why I didn't pay a visit to this man's stand just down the road is beyond me. UPDATE: Googling "honey tang" reveals very little, but there is such a thing as "honey tangerines." That's probably what he was selling (the subtle period at the end of "tang" confirms this abbreviated theory). Bummer. I was envisioning some sort of awesome honey flavored candy or drink.

More pics from our trip can be seen here.

GOODBYE LENT...I WISH I COULD SAY IT WAS FUN

2008-03-21T13:19:00.007-04:00

A few minutes after 8 p.m. last night in a Burger King just south of Baltimore, I tasted beef for the first time in more than 40 days. It came courtesy of a Triple Whopper with Cheese (and bacon) and it was, for lack of a better word(s), fucking incredible.

It didn't sit well in my stomach after we got back on the road, but that didn't stop me from ordering two double cheeseburgers from McDonalds when we stopped for gas two hours later. Those also caused my stomach to twist and turn a bit, but that still didn't deter me from ordering the "Three Meat Breakfast" from a Georgia Denny's at 6 a.m. the next morning. Breakfast meat was one of the things I missed the most during my Lent adventure.

Now we're in Florida. Our plans to hit a Yankees game tonight were dashed (sold out), so we've scored some tickets to a Rusted Root concert in Tampa. Tomorrow it's a Phillies game in Clearwater. Sunday it's the Mets in Port St. Lucie. Monday's schedule has yet to be determined, but when it's near 80 degrees and sunny, it really doesn't matter.

28 MORE HOURS

2008-03-19T15:13:00.004-04:00

Roman Catholic Lent ends at sundown on Holy Thursday (that would be tomorrow), which means that at 7:21 pm (according to this site), I'll have the green light to dig into a Triple Whopper with Cheese, followed by a Tendercrisp Chicken Sandwich.

The moment of delicious truth comes about two hours into Beau and my 16 hour road trip enroute to Tampa, Florida for a long weekend of Spring Training baseball, hotdogs, beer and more baseball (and more hotdogs and beer). That means we'll be stopping at a Burger King somewhere just north of Washington, DC. Maybe Frederick, Maryland. Or perhaps Gaithersburg. Who knows. Who cares. I just want to eat until I get the meat sweats and then take a nap until Richmond.

UPDATE: I'll be getting on the road soon and I'm not sure when I'll have internet access. If I find some free WiFi, I'll be sure to let you all know how my weekend of baseball and meat is going. There's a slight chance that I won't have internet access until I return on Tuesday night or that I will find access down south but I'll be in too much of a meat coma to function properly.

SIX MORE WHOPPERLESS DAYS

2008-03-14T15:57:00.005-04:00

Only six more days and three more hours until Lent is official over for me. (I'm observing Roman Catholic Lent rules, which end at sundown on the Thursday before Easter.) The nagging Whopper cravings have, for the most part, subsided. Now the hardest part about going meatless for Lent has been seeking out the one edible meatless option on lunch menus. Today we went to a downtown dive for a burgers and pitchers.

Our regular lunch stop (Kokomos - of which I am the wing eating champion) mysteriously lost its liquor license (temporarily). We didn't learn that critical fact until we sat down and ordered our drinks. When we learned the news, we promptly departed for a place about a block away and better known as a late night karoke stop, but with a decent lunch menu of burgers and cheesesteaks. Today's special was corned beef and cabbage. I ordered some sort of vegetable pita and hated every bite of it.

MY CHOCOLATE EATING ADVENTURE

2008-03-12T10:05:00.004-04:00

In seven minutes on Monday evening, I probably ate more chocolate than I did in most entire years. Well, probably not when you consider how much chocolate I eat in ice cream and other desserts, but it sure as hell felt like a lot of chocolate.

The challenge, levied upon me by a sadistic co-worker, was to see how much of the "World's Largest Hershey's Kiss" I could eat in a seven minute period. Pat Bertoletti holds the seven minute chocolate eating record with one pound, 15.5 ounces eaten. My total was one pound, one ounce and I washed it down with a tall mug of hot coffee. The coffee (thanks to Pat for the suggestion), really helped keep things clear during the challenge. In retrospect, I should have gone with decaf, but I didn't.

The giant Kiss came in two halves and was thicker than I thought it would be. Some parts were really thick and required a lot of biting and chewing to break it apart. I'm reasonably sure I could have eaten the other half if given 15 or 20 more minutes (and I seriously thought about it), but wisely didn't.

With a little over one pound of chocolate in my belly (the equivalent of 11 standard 1.5 ounce Hershey's chocolate bars) and another 16 ounces of coffee behind it, I was definitely feeling a good buzz. And it didn't take long for the jitters to set in. Fifteen minutes later I was shaky, talking fast and felt a little bit like Tweek from South Park. After half an hour, my resting pulse rate was 104 (my normal is around 70). Three hours later I started getting some painful intestinal cramping, but thankfully no other digestive abnormalities. By midnight, my sugar and caffeine high had subsided and I was able to sleep peacefully.

More pics can be seen here.

BURGER'S REVENGE

2008-03-10T17:50:00.004-04:00

Someone with entry level Photoshop skills took the iconic Badlands Booker Denny's Beer Barrel Pub burger photo and had a little fun with it (below). I think it's a statement about man's dominance over the food chain and how someday, when we least expect it, the tables will turn.

UPDATE: CHOCOLATE CHALLENGE

2008-03-06T19:56:00.003-05:00

My attempt to eat the World's Largest Hershey's Kiss (two and three-quarter pounds of chocolate) was tentatively scheduled for today but I postponed it due to not being "100 percent mentally ready for the challenge." In other words, I was scared.

Carey offered some sage advice on my first post about the chocolate challenge. In a comment, he said "I wouldn't attempt to eat more of anything than what Pat can do in a competition." It was a reference to Pat Bertoletti's world record of one pound, 15.5 ounces of chocolate eaten in 7 minutes back in 2006.

Based on that, my plan is not to eat the entire 2.75 pound Kiss, but to eat as much as I can in 7 minutes. After seven minutes, I'll assess how my body is feeling and continue chowing down if I feel up to the challenge. The attempt is scheduled for Monday at 5 pm in the conference room.

CRABBY

2008-03-04T10:22:00.004-05:00

I feel like I should confess this here in the hopes that it will somehow clear my conscience. Last night at dinner I cheated on my meatless Lent pledge, but it wasn't my fault.

I ordered a meatless quesadilla at the Appalachian Brewing Company (I'm a Mug Club member and they're right next door to where I work, so I'm there a lot), but they brought me a crab quesadilla instead. It wasn't until my first bite that I realized what had happened.

I thought about sending it back, but I didn't. It's seafood (and crab at that). Probably the least meat-like of all the meats. I guess there's even a chance that it wasn't real crab meat. Sure tasted good though.

PIZZA EATING CONTEST

2008-03-02T14:20:00.005-05:00

The first annual Pavone Pizza Eating Contest is in the books (finally, after four reschedulings) and my three contest winning streak is over. Beau took the title by finishing his large pizza with sliced tomatoes before anyone else. I was half a slice behind (I chose mushrooms), followed by John (mushrooms) and Billy (onions - WTF?).

Beau checks out the goods.

Billy, Beau, me and John digging in. Yes, that's me using ranch dressing to give the crusts a little extra flavor. Overall, the first three slices didn't taste too bad. The last three slices tasted like crap. I don't remember the middle two.

Beau shows off his winning technique. We all got our pizzas cut traditionally (eight slices), while Beau asked for his cut in four slices. He then folded each quarter slice. I guess it worked.

Me considering my next move. I think it was "continue eating."

Taking a nap during the home stretch while John soldiers on.

Beau basks in victory while I will myself to finish my pie.

Amazingly enough, I thought I wouldn't want to eat pizza again for at least two weeks, but my very next meal (lunch the next day) was two slices of cheese pizza. A full set of pictures can be seen here.

HALFWAY THERE

2008-02-27T08:22:00.002-05:00

21 days down, 21 to go in my meatless Lent challenge. My feast starts at sundown on Thursday, March 20. That's how the Roman Catholics do it and if it's good enough for Mel Gibson, it's good enough for me.

I still haven't decided what my first meat meal will be, but I'm positive it will be beef. Since Beau and I might be on the road headed to Florida at sundown on March 20, it may have to be something fast. Maybe something flame broiled? Maybe a Triple Whopper with cheese? Maybe two Triple Whoppers with cheese? Oh God, I can feel a meat hallucination coming on.

HERSHEY KISS CHALLENGE

2008-02-25T07:34:00.007-05:00

Somehow Ian got ahold of the "World's Largest Hershey's Kiss" (a hollow chocolate kiss filled with 45 regular sized Kisses) and levied a challenge for me to eat it. Of course, I accepted the challenge. Like a dumbass.

The giant kiss is actually pretty heavy and packs a total of 5,670 calories. The small kisses only weigh in at 1,150 calories, for a combined 6,820 calories. Total weight: two pounds, 12 ounces of pure Hershey's chocolate. Altogether the meal packs 1,280 percent of my total daily allowance of saturated fat.

I have to figure out what my time limit will be. The world chocolate eating record is one pound, 15.5 ounces in 7 minutes by Pat Bertoletti. I'm thinking 20 minutes would be GREAT for me on this one, but 30 minutes is more likely. This is the first eating challenge in which the potential physical effects of the food actually scare me.

I ATTENDED A CATHOLIC WEDDING ONCE

2008-02-21T11:39:00.004-05:00

I'm trying to figure out when Lent ends. Here's what I found, according to the Reverend Ken Collins:

"Lent begins on 6 February 2008 and ends on 22 March 2008, which is the day before Easter. In the Roman Catholic Church, Lent officially ends at sundown on 20 March (Holy Thursday), with the beginning of the mass of the Lord’s Supper."

In case you were doing the math and figured out that the period between February 6 and March 22 is actually more like 45 days (not 40), you were right. According to the Reverend, "We skip Sundays when we count the forty days, because Sundays commemorate the Resurrection." Extra days are awesome.

I do like the Roman Catholic Lent. They cut loose at dinnertime on Thursday the 20th. I might observe Roman Catholic Lent because, as chance would have it, Beau and I are planning a road trip starting that Thursday evening to Florida to catch a bunch of Spring Training baseball games. Yes, I am going to eat my weight in hot dogs that weekend.

14 DAYS DOWN, 26 MORE TO GO

2008-02-20T17:01:00.002-05:00

Today for lunch, I ordered a Whopper with cheese, hold the meat. I told the kid taking my order that "I have a stupid request" and that "I lost a bet and can't eat meat for a month." Somehow lying was easier than admitting that I had given up meat voluntarily for Lent. The kid behind the register laughed. Really hard. He turned away and doubled over. I guess you really can "have it your way," but it doesn't absolve you from ridicule.

I put french fries on the Whopper. It tasted vaguely Whopper-like, but only vaguely.

"HOLD THE BACON"

2008-02-19T12:05:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I went to lunch and uttered those three words. Words I never in a million years thought I'd say. It was a salad "smothered in Applewood smoked bacon." What I recieved was literally an intact half a head of lettuce on my plate, one sliced hard boiled egg and a container of ranch dressing. I almost cried.

Today I feel light headed and dizzy. Also headachey and slightly congested, so I'm blaming the wooziness on some sort of impending cold or flu. I've got to remember to take my multivitamins and eat more alternate sources of protein. I might order a Whopper tonight and take out the meat just to see if it satisfies my cravings.

IS IT EASTER YET?

2008-02-18T07:48:00.003-05:00

I'm not going to turn this into my "Meatless Lent Blog," but I wanted to offer an update about my recent temptations of the flesh as I head into Day 12 of my 40 day trial.

On Friday, a group of us went to Cheeburger Cheeburger for lunch. A few members of the crew got one-pound burgers. Although there was a grilled cheese on the menu, I opted for the veggie burger and fries. I thought about upgrading it to a one-pound veggie burger, but I'm not sure my body could have handled that much flavorless mush.

I also ordered Chinese this weekend. You might not realize it until you're forced to eat vegetable fried rice, but those little pink cubes of pork in the standard fried rice really do add a lot of flavor to the meal. Mmmm...flavor.

VIDEO: BACKSTAGE AT WING BOWL

2008-02-15T08:37:00.003-05:00

The video below was shot by me backstage in the Wachovia Center at Wing Bowl 16. What you see is, from beginning to end, the long and winding hallway that housed all the eater entourages as they waited for the start of Wing Bowl 16. This is the same hallway that gets traffic from the 76ers and Flyers players (who played there just 12 hours prior). Big Brian Subich's entourage was set up just outside the Sixers locker room.

My favorite parts of this video (in order): Pete Meirnicki passed out, "three girls on the back and two on the front," boobs, running into Bertoletti/Crazy Legs/Badlands, bagpipes, Humble Bob's interview.

LENT JUST GOT HARDER, BUT WHATEV

2008-02-14T16:18:00.002-05:00

I just shared a few emails with Liz (also a big UEPa fan) and she explained to me how easy going meat-free really is with the help of some meat substitute products (and how I won't "get sick" from the lack of meat like some people say I will). Her pep talk convinced me to renew my original pledge of NO MEAT during Lent. I mean, how hard can it be? Dinners of grilled cheese, pasta, soup, pancakes and PBJ? Sounds good to me!

UPDATE: Actually, I just remember I bought about half a pound of sliced turkey, so this will start in about 48 hours. Lots of sandwiches until then.

LENT IS EASY

2008-02-14T07:41:00.004-05:00

I'm eight days into my "No Red Meat for Lent" experiment (formerly known as "No Meat for Lent") and I have to admit, it's going pretty well. No major beef cravings yet, unless you count that drooling episode with Ultimate Double Whopper sign a few days ago but I would have drooled over that even if it weren't Lent.

Before last night's two Spicy Chicken Crisps, I hadn't had any meat for two days. I really think I could go 100 percent meat free, but everyone insists I'd get physically sick if I did that. I might do NO MEAT for the last 20 days of Lent. Just for fun. Because everyone knows how much fun that is.

By the way, I was told (and Wikipedia confirmed this), that pepperoni contains red meat, thus making it off limits as my topping of choice in next week's office pizza eating contest. Looks like I'll have to go with Plan B -- mushrooms.

MOTHER NATURE IS DEFINITELY A VEGETARIAN

2008-02-13T07:48:00.008-05:00

The weather here in central Pennsylvania and pretty much everywhere else in the Northeast United States has been miserable over the last 24 to 36 hours. The icy shitstorm has put a lot of cars in ditches (I've seen a few), but now it's gone too far with this accident north of Harrisburg. According to the Autoblog:

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile may be the most unique and recognizable vehicle on American roads, but even a 7,000-pound hot dog can spin out of control on a patch of ice. The 27-foot-long rolling tribute to pig lips and chicken necks lost its footing and spun into an embankment on highway 15 in Pennsylvania on its way to Penn State for a recruiting visit. Neither of the two women riding in the flailing frankfurter were hurt in the incident, and a tow truck was able to get the over-sized sausage back onto the road.

First of all, what kind of "recruiting visit" does the Wienermobile make at Penn State? Do I even want to know? Secondly, what were two women doing driving the thing? I mean, honestly. The only person allowed to drive the Wienermobile should be a 350-pound guy from Brooklyn named Lou who actually eats hot dogs and slurps a Big Gulp Slushee while he drives. If they're looking for volunteers, I'm available most Saturdays and Sundays.

WING BOWL 16 WAS SORT OF AWESOME

2008-02-11T17:24:00.000-05:00

Wing Bowl. Where do I start? Where does anyone start when talking about Wing Bowl? The tailgating? The wings? The strippers? (Sorry..."Wingettes.") I guess I'll just start from the beginning and tell the story with the help of some photos.

A week prior to Wing Bowl, Big Brian Subich (a friend and Wing Bowl competitor) asked me to be a part of his entourage and take some pics of the action. I happily obliged.

10:30 pm - Big Brian's crew and our crew got to the Holiday Inn at the same time only to be told that they weren't allowing tailgating this year, which was really a mystery to me, because why wouldn't you want to open up your parking lot and lobby restroom to hundreds of drunk, rowdy twentysomething year olds?

11:00 pm - After about 30 minutes of driving around in a panic looking for a place to party, we finally set up shop in a parking lot adjacent to Lincoln Financial Field. The gate was open and there were already a few partiers there. It was perfect. Brian's crew pitched a big tent (that's Big B in the foreground), lit a huge grill. We were ready to party, and we did for about an hour until the owner of the lot showed up and politely kicked our asses out.

12:30 pm - After we got booted from Tailgate Lot #1, we moved onto the parking lot at Chicky & Pete's, the bar just outside the sports complex area where the Wing Bowl weigh-in was held earlier that day. Brian's crew didn't set up the tent, but we did fire up the grill and the U-Haul was hoppin'. Here's Evan, Beau and I trying to drink as fast as we could to warm up. Carey and Jill were also there. Brian used the time to catch some Z's in his Caddy. Too bad the cops stopped by around 1:45 am and kicked us all out.

1:30 am - After some more driving (don't worry, we were still very much not drunk), we hit the motherload. A parking lot jam-packed with cars and rowdy drunkeness near Citizen's Bank Park. It was heaven. A woman at the gate was charging $5 per car, which we were happy to pay. This bonfire attracted the local fire department and eventually led to the police breaking up the party around 2:15 am. We watched all the underage crews scatter when the cops showed up. Fearing nothing, we stayed until 3:00 am before finally leaving peacefully. The woman at the gate taking money? She was just someone who decided to cash in by making up her own cover charge. She was arrested.

3:15 am - Weilding the power of our entourage passes, we finagled our way into the Wachovia Center parking lot and partied in what would be our fourth and final location of the night. Here we see Beau and Pete scarfing down some hot dogs.

4:15 am - As a member of Big Brian's entourage and his official photographer, I broke free from the U-Haul crew and headed into the Wachovia Center. Beau and Evan would finally get in and find their seats around 6:15 am...15 minutes before the start of eater introductions.

4:45 am - Each eater's entourage had a clearly marked spot to hang out backstage. Here's Big Brian (right) and his crew waiting. We would wait for about two hours before finally heading into the main event. In the meantime, there was plenty of socializing with fellow eaters and oogling of Wingettes.

5:00 am - Joey Chestnut stops by for a chat. Here we are having a pointing contest. I totally won. The crazy eyes made all the difference.

5:45 am - Dave the Dumpster's Wingettes assemble for a little pep talk. They were peppy.

5:50 am - Pat Bertoletti signs an autograph for a member of Steakbellie's entourage.

6:15 am - Big Brian poses with his Wingettes. Not sure where his left hand is. Just kidding Mrs. Subich, it was in his pocket! (At least it wasn't here.)

6:35 am - We're on the floor and making our rounds. As a member of an entourage, once Brian took the stage I was herded into an area in the center of the arena to watch from up close. While it was awesome vantage point, I left to find Beau and Evan in the upper deck. The main reasons? So I could sit down AND watch the real action on the jumbotron.

Here's some of the "real action." Here's some even better action.

After three hours of pomp, circumstance, eating and boobs, Joey Chestnut wins Wing Bowl 16 by devouring 241 wings (anhiliating his old record of 186). He won a $10,000 Harley for finishing on top in the first round and a $30,000 Toyota Truck for winning the whole thing. Pat Bertoletti finished second with 227 wings. Not bad for a guy who's flight from Chicago was delayed and who didn't end up landing in Philly until about 3:30 am.

A full set of pictures can be seen here.

THE WING BOWL POST GOES UP TONIGHT

2008-02-11T08:08:00.001-05:00

I promise.

In other news, my goal of giving up meat for the 40 days of Lent isn't going so well. I've decided to back off my NO MEAT promise and only give up red meat. That's still pretty hard because of all the meats out there, the red is my favorite. No steaks, no burgers, no pepperoni on my pizza. (Wait, it's red in color, but is pepperoni technically red meat? Please say no.) Yesterday I was in the Burger King drive through and they were advertising their new Ultimate Double Whopper with extra bacon. I ordered a spicy chicken crisp and did not enjoy it.

LENT IS HARD

2008-02-08T09:04:00.000-05:00

I’ve never done the Lent thing; giving something up – usually a guilty pleasure or some other vice – for 40 days. In fact, I’m not even religious. But this year I’ve decided to give up meat. Not just red meat (as some people suggested), but ALL MEAT.

And the funny thing is, I’m sort of looking forward to it. I mean, I know it’ll suck at times, but when those 40 days are over, that first burger will taste like heaven.

Even though it's only been two days, it’s already been a challenge. On the first night, a group of us went to dinner at a co-worker's house. She made baked macaroni and cheese with bits of bacon throughout. Normally the perfect food, but I had to pick out the bacon and pile it into a tempting little pile of pork on the side of my plate. Picking bacon OUT of my food? THIS is what I've become?! Then yesterday a bunch of us from work went to Five Guys for lunch. They got awesome greasy cheeseburgers. I got a grilled cheese.

I’ve also already failed. Last night after our last dodgeball game of the season (we lost 27 to 5) we went out for beers at Gilligan’s. I instinctively ordered 24 teriyaki wings and before I realized what I’d done, the waitress had already placed the order. Of course I ate them, but I only HALF enjoyed them while thinking about how weak I was. After the last wing I decided to RESTART my meatless Lent today. I’ll keep you posted.

WHAT THE FUCK IS A FASTNACHT?

2008-02-05T17:55:00.000-05:00

I'm back. I promise I'm going to get to my Wing Bowl post...sooner or later. Today is Fastnacht Day, in case you didn't know. Fastnachts are basically heavy, plain doughnuts. The day is sort of a Pennsylvania Dutch tradition and it serves as a way to use up all the lard and sugar and other tempting foods before giving them all up for Lent.

Anyhow, we had about five extra boxes of fastnachts laying around the office today, so we put together an impromptu fastnacht eating contest in the conference room at 5 o'clock. Three fastnachts washed down with a Yuengling light lager (the light stuff was all we had leftover from our Super Bowl party). I won. Beau came in second, followed by Billy. Jeremy ate one fastnacht and called it quits. He's kind of a pussy.

It was my first contest using beer. Not too bad except for the burps.

Jeremy plowing into his first fastnacht. He would quit after one.

Beau finishes.

Billy left in a hurry after the contest to "take care of business."

A full set of pics can be seen here.

SKINNYBOY AND THE GIANT BURRITO

2008-01-28T13:13:00.001-05:00

Check out Skinnyboy's latest conquest out in the Mile High City. It's a seven pound burrito, although in his pictures it looks more like 20 pounds. Females who eat it get free food at Jack-n-Grill FOR LIFE. Men get nothing, other than another reason why our life expectancies are a few years shorter than women.

HOLD THE PIZZA

2008-01-27T19:05:00.001-05:00

Our pizza eating contest was postponed. One of our "key eaters" had to reschedule. Something about a last minute "thing" in Philly. I think it was a wedding or a funeral or something lame like that. We'll try to reschedule for sometime in February.

7 DAYS UNTIL WING BOWL

2008-01-24T17:29:00.000-05:00

It's almost here. I spoke with Big Brian Subich a few days ago (he qualified last week by scarfing down three foot-long "fat bitch" sandwiches -- cheesesteaks topped with chicken fingers, cheese sticks and french fries -- in 8 minutes). His entourage will be tailgating in STYLE with a tent, space heaters, grills and the works. He agreed to have them save a spot for the UEPa-Haul in the Holiday Inn parking lot next to his crew.

Also talked to Bob Shoudt last week. The Humble One will pay a visit to the UEPa party at some point during the night. All things considered, it's shaping up to be a Wing Bowl to remember.

PIZZA EATING CONTEST

2008-01-22T08:04:00.000-05:00

We finally settled on a date for our next office eating contest. January 25 (this Friday) at 5:30 pm in the conference room. The discipline will be pizza with one topping (eater's choice). First to finish one large pie wins.

The cool thing about this contest is that we have three or so women who have agreed to participate. At least they did when we first started talking about it two months ago ("Oh, I totally love pizza!"). What the winner receives has yet to be determined. I'm throwing $20 of my own money into the pot to make it interesting. I'm going to win anyhow, so who cares.

After some thought -- and based on experience -- this contest is going to come down to one thing: crust. That's sort of what all pizza contests come down to, isn't it? To handle that obstacle, I will be applying a liberal dunking strategy. Actually, scratch that. I think I'll eat the crusts first, while my jaw and appetite are still strong. Or maybe I'll roll each slice up into a pizza burrito. Who knows.

WING BOWL TIX: SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PIECE

2008-01-18T15:28:00.000-05:00

I've been a shitty blogger lately. Sorry about that. This no-action off-season has been brutal. You can even see the effects over on Eat Feats. It's just not the same. The good news is, the IFOCE ended their 128 day streak without a new open contest announcement yesterday by unveiling a jalepeno eating contest on February 23. Nothing like a little four month hiatus to get the stomach and blogs rumbling again.

Speaking of rumbling (bad segue)...WING BOWL! Who's in? I have 13 tickets and need to figure out if anyone needs to buy more. So far, here's who I know is in from our crew. If you want to join us, let me know with a comment:

Me
Beau
Ian (friend, not Hickman)
Evan
Josh (friend)
Jeremy (friend)
Jeremy's friend #1
Jeremy's friend #2
Carey
Jill

That's 10 tickets. I have three left. Am I missing anyone? I know Wild Bill will be partying with us, but he's part of Paul Sakelarides' entourage. If he doesn't get a spot at the table, Pete Miernicki might need a ticket, right Pete? Wing Tut? Hickman? Let me know. If I run out, you'll have to get a ticket on eBay, but there are more than enough on there to go around.

18 DAYS UNTIL WING BOWL

2008-01-13T21:44:00.000-05:00

Got the tickets the other day in the mail. This year, we're turning the U-Haul will pull double duty as a party machine and a money making machine. Beau bought an official Nathan's hot dog cooker for like $30 and our plan is to sell dogs for $2 each or three for $5 (using a converter to power it through the U-Haul's cigarette lighter). With hundreds of drunk people around, we'll make a killing, right? And I know we technically need some sort of vendor's permit to sell food, but I'm pretty sure the cops have bigger things on their minds than some dude selling hot dogs out of the back of a rented box truck.

THE CHAMP

2008-01-08T20:14:00.000-05:00

This is one of my favorite photos. I took it at the 2006 Nathan's hot dog eating contest after Kobayashi had won. The crowd of 20,000+ was dispursing and I was waiting to grab a word and a photo with Badlands Booker when a surge of people swept toward me from the staging area. Koby was heading back to the Bus of Champions. I stayed ahead of the crowd and grabbed this photo and this great shot from the other side of the bus, through the window (though it may look as though I were INSIDE the bus).

THE WORM

2008-01-05T23:21:00.001-05:00

A friend forwarded me this nugget a while back. It's a long, but well written story (simultaneously humorous and horrifying) about one man's battle with a tapeworm. I always thought having a tapeworm would be cool because supposedly, with a worm, you can eat all you want and never get fat. But after reading this story, I changed my mind about that dream. Here's a particularly hair-raising excerpt from the part of the story which describes the death of the worm:

"There was a shifting inside my guts. Then there was a more sudden, thrashing movement. And that's when I realized my tapeworm was going through its death throes. It squirmed and twisted, spasming – and why didn't the doctor tell me about this part, the bastard? My guts cramped and churned. This went on for five, ten minutes, until, just as suddenly, it subsided. It was over. My tapeworm was at peace."

Check out the entire story here (if you dare). Click on the linked text at the end of each page to move to the next page. The "best" part comes later, in a bathroom stall, when our subject finally passes his parasitic friend. I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, other than I never ever ever ever want a tapeworm.

I'M ONLY IN IT FOR THE FOOD

2008-01-03T15:31:00.000-05:00

I have a dodgeball game tonight. Yeah, I'm a dodgeball league. Our team is a bunch of us from work and some of our friends and we pretty much suck worse than any team in the history of dodgeball but it's a fun Thursday night tradition and it helps release some of the tension that's built up throughout the week.

Last season we had no wins and 9 losses. This season we're 1-1 (in our first game, we won by default because the other team didn't show up). Here are some pics of last year's squad. Yes, the scoreboard says 35-0. That was the final score of our last game.

The best part about being in a dodgeball league are the post-game beers and wings at Gilligans. Every Thursday after our 7 pm or 8 pm games. Pitchers, wings and sometimes a burger followed by more pitchers. We've tried doing the Gilligans thing BEFORE our 9 pm games, but that didn't work out too well.

Tonight's opponent calls themselves the Moose Knuckles. For those not familiar with the term, feel free to click on the name. They're the most arrogant douche bags in the entire league, but we love playing them. They've got a guy on their team who is either half drunk and/or 'roid raging. We call him O'Doyle. Just like in Billy Madison. We like to taunt him. Let's just hope we never run into him at Gilligans after the game.

IN 2008, I RESOLVE TO...

2008-01-01T18:50:00.000-05:00

Become a master deep fryer chef (I got a deep fryer for Christmas).

Organize, promote, and emcee an eating contest for a local restaurant (for a fee, of course).

Finally attempt a 20 patty Burger King cheeseburger.

Continue to learn more about beer.

Brew my own beer.

Go to Chicago and eat a deep dish pizza from Giordano's. Or order one by mail.

Go camping more often and become a better camping cook.

Continue to donate to charitable causes that fight hunger.

Finally build a UEPa website.

Eat more burgers.

Test my one hour capacity for wings.

Test my 24-hour capacity for anything.

Buy a dehydrator and make my own beef jerky.

Do all of this (and a lot more) and still manage to stick my new gym schedule.

NOTHIN' A LITTLE OFF-SEASON R&R CAN'T FIX

2007-12-28T19:56:00.000-05:00

I've never had a very reliable stomach, but lately mine's been making funny noises. Apparently whavever's been ailing it has spread south, because I've also been experiencing all sorts of bloating and aches and pains in my intestinal area. A few bouts of heartburn (including right now) after a lifetime of being heartburn-free doesn't help either.

So a few weeks ago I visited my doctor. After some poking and prodding and fondling, she was able to rule out a hernia, appendicitis, mad cow disease, dislexia and all sorts of other ailments. Of course, I didn't tell her about my competitive eating hobby. I really don't do it often enough or well enough for it to be an issue...I think. For the heartburn she prescribed Prilosec, which all but killed my appetite for about two weeks. My appetite hasn't fully recovered and my capacity, which was never that great, is even less great.

To rule out any unusual abdominal "masses," I had to get an ultrasound today, which revealed no masses whatsoever. Part of me was hoping they'd discover some sort of conjoined twin growing inside of me. Then maybe, after 12 hours of surgery with the best conjoined twin doctors in the world, my long lost brother would living outside of me (but still attached, of course). Just a little misshapen head and one twisted, gimp arm hanging out there next to my belly button. I'd get all my shirts tailored with an extra head and arm hole. My twin (I'd name him Max) would grunt and spit and shout obscenities at people. He might also be able to help clean up my scraps in eating contests.

But, of course, that dream was dashed today. As for what's causing my gastrointestinal troubles? We're still not sure, but I'll keep you posted.

CHEEBURGER CHEEBURGER, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

2007-12-24T17:14:00.000-05:00

So yeah, the other day for lunch about six of us piled into Ian's Cherokee and travelled a little farther than we normally would for a workday lunch outing (about 20 minutes away), but it was definitely worth it. Our destination was Cheeburger Cheeburger -- a mythical chain of have-it-your-way giant burger restuarants wildly popular in parts well south of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Their menu taunted us with burgers in five different sizes. From "The Classic" (5.5 ounces...I'm guessing it's some sort of appetizer or something) to "The Serious" (half pounder) to "Our Famous Pounder." On this day I had a lot of work to catch up on in the afternoon, so I went with "The Delirious" (three-quarters of a pound) with cheddar, lettuce, tomato, horseradish and pickles. The build-it-yourself selection of toppings are what separates CheeChee (just made that up...not sure if anyone actually calls them that) from other burger joints. Eight different cheeses and 24 different goodies. Can't argue with that.

The other cool thing is that their burgers don't START as half a pound of beef and get cooked down to whatever. No, they start their half pounder with 10 ounces of uncooked beef. Likewise with the pounder. It starts as 20 ounces of beef to ensure that you get all 16 beautiful ounces on that bun.

They've also got a wall of fame. Eat the pounder and you get your photo on it. Only six days after they opened, there were already north of 20 photos on the wall, including one "repeat offender." There's a also a wall of fame for kids under 12 who eat the half pounder. Yeah, I thought it was a little weird too, but who am I to preach about corporate America's role in preventing childhood obesity?

Overall, the burger was good. Not great (I've had three or four better burgers in the Harrisburg area alone), but not bad for a chain restaurant. A little costly too. After my $8.29 burger and splitting some $6 fries and special sauces (99 cents each) six ways AND getting a half-sized milk shake (over 70 different flavors), my total with a $2 tip was over $15. Definitely not something I would consider doing for lunch more than once a month, but we're already planning a trip back there to polish off some TWO pounders, so we'll see.

MMMM....HAIR

2007-12-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

This time of year, I should be writing about candy canes and egg nog and my Friday lunchtime trip to the newly-opened-in-my-area Cheeburger Cheeburger but instead I'm stuck on 10-pound hairballs.

A co-worker sent me this story a few weeks ago and it's, well, pretty nasty. Seems this 18-year-old girl had a habit of eating her own hair. Little did she know, hair doesn't digest. It just sort of sits there in your stomach, like chewed bubblegum or watermelon seeds waiting to sprout.

I debated whether or not to include the photo of the 10-pound, stomach-shaped hair mass that doctors removed from her stomach on this blog entry, but I decided against it. If you really want to see (and you know you do), check it out here.

PHILLY GUY TO SCARF DOWN 20 WEINERS IN SEARCH OF WING BOWL GLORY

2007-12-19T08:50:00.000-05:00

Philly Guy reported in a comment on the last post that WIP has accepted his Wing Bowl qualifying stunt. His feat? Twenty naked hot dogs (no buns) in 3 minutes and 25 seconds or less. No word on when he'll be on the air.

Three minutes, 25 seconds is an odd time. What, did they think 3:30 was just "way too easy"? Regardless, I'm pretty sure he can beat that time. I predict he'll get them down in 3:10. I also think it would be hardcore if, after he reached 20 dogs, he just keep eating right up until the 3:25 mark. Screw this "stopping when you've reached your goal" crap.

REASON #37 WHY WORKING IN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY RULES

2007-12-18T07:49:00.000-05:00

Wow, I suck. This is the first time in the 21 months that I've been blogging here that I've gone four days without a post. I could blame it on the achingly slow competitive eating off-season and the hectic holiday season. Neither are great excuses though. I've just been lazy.

This Thursday is our office holiday party. In the spirit of Christmas, we've chartered a bus and will be hitting the road at noon to celebrate at the headquarters of one of our newest clients, the Yuengling Brewing Company. That's right, we're going to party in the oldest brewery in America. I feel like Charlie Bucket and the brewery is my chocolate factory. I'm counting the hours (52 and 5 minutes).

D.G. Yuengling & Sons and I go way back. Not only is it the best beer you can buy for under $20 a case, it's also the only beer you can order in any bar in Pennsylvania without even saying its name. Just ask for a "lager." If they don't know what you're talking about, find another bar.

BURGER #4: CHOCOLATE CRUSTED CRANBERRY BURGER

2007-12-13T19:23:00.000-05:00

After a traditional burger like the Big Mock, I decided to go the fru-fru route with the Chocolate Crusted Cranberry Burger. I really had no idea what to expect with this one.

The main ingredients are all here. Half a cup of whole berry cranberry sauce and quarter cup of finely chopped fresh mint was mixed into the beef. Each patty was encrusted with a mixture of half a cup of brown sugar, two packets of cocoa, a pinch of salt and a pinch of chili powder.

The final product was a very sweet burger, obviously owing to the half cup of cranberry sauce in the beef, the chocolate/sugar coating and a topping of cranberry sauce after cooking. It's hard to say how much of that sweetness was due to the chocolate and sugar crust and how much came from the cranberry sauce, but the sauce was by far the dominant flavor throughout this burger. As the recipe warned, the sugar coating caused quite a few flare ups on the grill, which I suspect might have also cooked off much of the sweet coating.

Overall this burger sounded a lot more interesting than it tasted. As I may have mentioned with my previous Coconut Flake Hawaiian Burger, I'm not a big fan of sweet burgers, but as far as "gourmet" concoctions go, this one was relatively easy to make and might score you some points with chocolate-loving girlfriends.

WING BOWL TICKETS PURCHASED!

2007-12-12T09:23:00.000-05:00

Just to let you all know, I just bought 13 Wing Bowl tickets. Even selecting the "Best Available" seating option, the best I could get was Upper General Admission. I think that's where we were last year. I didn't see any assigned seating during the ordering process, so I think we just stumble in and find seats where ever we can in that section.

I'll need four of the tickets for me, Beau and two others. The other nine are up for grabs. Who's in this year? Carey, Jill, Ian, Tut? If we need more tickets, we can always pick up a few on Ebay. That's how we got our tix for last years' Bowl.

50 days and counting.

"FUCK, I WANNA EAT GODDAMNIT!"

2007-12-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

I may make that the new title of this blog. Or put it on a t-shirt and add it to the UEPa store. Who knows. That soon-to-be immortal statement comes from the video below, which is an actual complaint phoned in to the Jimmy Dean customer service line. There are way too many great lines in this gem to highlight here, so I'll let you pick and choose your favorites.

THIS KID SHOULD BE THE NEW UEPa MASCOT

2007-12-05T21:05:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Sweet Jill and her sweet Flip Video camcorder (which, as of Monday, I also own), our Niner Diner challenge has been documented on video. Below is my favorite clip from that day, and not just because I shot it. In this video we see Carey with his fan club, although they're not quite as encouraging here as they were at other times.

I laugh out loud every time I watch this. The kid in the glasses is hilarious and thinks I'm using a regular camera ("Can you take a picture of me and him?"). Carey at one point tells him "its video" but, in the end, Carey and I play along and pretend to snap away.

A full set of Jill's videos can be seen here. By the way, Tiny from the Niner Diner called me yesterday to thank us all for visiting his restaurant and putting on such a good show. He said we're welcome back anytime. I told him it won't be long.

I GOT BEAT BY A GIRL

2007-12-02T08:42:00.000-05:00

That's right, Sweet Jill out ate me at the Niner Diner yesterday during the UEPa's fall 2008 meeting. In my defense, I have a lot of practice losing to women. Sonya Thomas, Juliet Lee, Megan and Jennifer from work (my first, thanks guys!).

To recap, we met at the Niner Diner in Nanty Glo to attempt the legendary Tiny's Challenge: a three-pound burger and five pounds of fries. Eat it all in two-hours and it's free. I can say this for sure...of all the giant burgers I've eaten (Denny's, Clinton Station Diner), this one was by far the best tasting of them all.

To answer Wild Bill's comment to this post, no one finished the challenge. Carey and Brian were the only ones to finish the burger. Carey made a one-pound or so dent in his five pounds of fries and Brian, with a little help from his son, made a little more of an impact, but overall the meal was just too much for any of us to handle. According to Niner Diner owner, Tiny, the only person to ever complete the meal was a 90-something pound woman (of course) who works at the local Wal-Mart.

Carey and I arrived at the Niner Diner 11:30, about half an hour early. The first thing we noticed was a sign on the front door stating that the diner would be closed for a few hours for a "competitive eating event" to allow Tiny to grill up our burgers and ready the fries. The sign also said people were welcome to stop by and watch. Here we see some of the folks who were there at 11:30. More would arrive later; sipping coffees and puffing on cigarettes and snapping photos with cell phones. I hope we put on a good show for them.

Here's Tiny at work. Each burger had three one-pound beef patties on it and one-pound of sliced cheese. That's a lot of cheese. The burgers were also adorned with the usual slew of condiments, including some very spicy diced onions at the very bottom which are not a welcome discovery 30 minutes into your lunch.

Our lunch arrived on large baking sheets. Here's Carey making room for his. It looked like burger mountain surrounded by a sea of fries. I wasn't sure how they were going to serve five pounds of french fries, but this seems like the best way. Better than a giant McDonalds-like box. Behind Carey is a cameraman from the local Fox and ABC affiliate. The UEPa appeared on both newscasts last night. A reporter from the Nanty Glo Journal was also there.

We all approached Tiny's Challenge the same way: break the burger apart and eat it as fast as possible in hopes of finishing it and then moving on to the fries. Seated in orange is Brian Subich's son who helped him with his fries. Brian didn't officially attempt the challenge, but he did finish his burger in 19 minutes. Carey polished off his at the 30 minute mark and Jill, Wing Tut and I nibbled away at it before throwing in the towel.

Brian and his son had been deer hunting that morning and were headed back out after lunch. Wing Tut was doing the same. Tut called me after we left the Niner Diner. Thirty minutes after getting back out into the field, he bagged a doe. Mmmm...deer.

Not sure what was happening here. I dished my camera off to a spectator and asked her to snap a dozen or so shots. Maybe I'm in pain. Maybe I'm getting ready to burp. Maybe I'm thinking of my happy place.

This is Carey with his fan club. They broke into a chant of "Ca-wey! Ca-wey! Ca-wey!" with about 20 minutes left in the challenge as Carey nibbled on a few last minute fries. Don't miss this shot of fan #1 reverently studying Cawey's drinking technique.

Here's the gang shortly before departing. Left to right: Me, Tiny and his wife, Brian and his son, Carey, Wing Tut and Jill. I can't say enough about how kind and accomodating Tiny and his staff were to us while we were there. The Niner Diner is truly a top-notch establishment and we'll definitely be back for future UEPa meetings (to try the giant pancake challenge, no doubt).

A full set of pics can be seen here, including each of us posing with our burgers, more behind the scenes shots, a pic of Carey taking a break around the one-hour mark and one of me doing a John Travolta impression.

THE NINER DINER IS READY FOR US (SORT OF)

2007-11-29T08:10:00.000-05:00

At the suggestion of Carey and the guy on the right, I called the Niner Diner just to make sure they'd be ready for an assault of 8 to 10 competitive eaters on Saturday.

In a nutshell, they're not. BUT, the waitress and I talked it out and she talked to her manager and they'll be able to accomodate us. Glenda assured me that they're "just a rinky dink diner" and the burger challenge is just something the manager does for fun. Turns out, they've never had a group this size turn out for the burger. Not even close.

When the manager got word that eight competitive eaters were showing up, he immediately back peddaled on his promise of a free meal to everyone who finishes it in the two-hour time limit. I assured Glenda that only a few of us even had a chance of finishing it. She then offered gift certificates. I countered with the suggestion that they give away a free meal to the first person in our group to finish the burger and fries. After a quick consultation with the manager, we had a deal. Actually, a customer in the store this morning offered to pick up the tab on the winning meal.

Glenda called me back a few minutes later and said that the manager agreed to pay for EVERYONE'S meal (whether they finish or not) if the person who finishes the burger challenge can ALSO finish the pancake challenge in an additional two hours. He also said he's closing down the diner from 11:30 to 1 pm to accomodate our group, but a bunch of customers will be on hand to watch the action unfold. I just sent a news release about the event to area newspaper and TV stations, so there might be some media coverage in this too.

NINER DINER STRATEGIES

2007-11-28T07:59:00.000-05:00

I'm assuming everyone is ready for our big burger-and-fries throwdown at the Niner Diner this weekend. Mentally ready at least. The hunger part will come later. At last count, the posse included myself, Carey, Wing Tut, Ian Hickman, Philly Guy, Sweet Jill, Big Brian Subich and Wild Bill Myers (tentative). I may be bring a friend or two with me as well.

Not sure how anyone else is planning to attack their three pound burger and five pound mound of fries, but Carey and I have been talking strategy and we're tackling the burger first. In fact, he and I are going toe-to-toe in a race to speed eat the mf'er. Our hope is to finish the burger as quickly as possible and use the remainder of the two hour time limit to pick away at our fries. Thinking back on hundreds of fast food meals, it definitely seems easier to snack on fries on a full stomach than it would be to attempt a burger with a belly full of fries.

I wonder if they'd be willing to delay our fries by about 30 minutes so they don't sit there and get cold while we scarf down our burger? Then again, hot or cold, will it really matter after downing three-plus pounds of beef, bun and condiments?

WHEN DRAG QUEENS ATTACK!

2007-11-27T10:45:00.000-05:00

The following was printed on the Fox News website (so you know it's true) and it was sent to me by a friend. It's got all of the elements of a great story: pissed off trannies, bad grammar, tire irons and scalding french fry grease. Seriously, I want to witness something like this just once in my lifetime. Just once. Maybe we'll see something like this at Wing Bowl. You never know.

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — A troublesome trio of transvestites allegedly laid siege to a Memphis McDonald's restaurant Sunday night, sparking a brawl with the restaurant's crew, according to reports.

Police said they were working on a more detailed description of three men dressed in drag who came into a McDonald's restaurant and started swinging.

Restaurant employee Martez Brisco was working the drive-through window when he reportedly got into an argument with the suspects. When Brisco ignored them tapping at the window, they came in.

"They come to the window, 'Tap, tap, tap.' I'm still ignoring them," Brisco told WMC-TV. "I guess that just pissed them off worser."

The transvestites allegedly struck the manager with a tire iron, and when he swung back, the drag queens took off their stiletto boots, removed their earrings and prepared to attack. The manager, Albert Bolton, was covered with scratch marks after suspects clawed him with their fingernails.

Bolton grabbed a pot of scalding french-fry grease and hurled it at his attackers. One of the cross-dressers then smacked Bolton with a wet floor sign, sending him to the hospital in an ambulance, WMC-TV reported.

Before driving off, the three attackers smashed the drive-through window.

WING BOWL TICKETS ON SALE SOON?

2007-11-25T22:38:00.000-05:00

According to Eat Feats, a recent online article says Wing Bowl tickets will go on sale tomorrow (Monday) at 10 am. The WIP website doesn't confirm that, but it does say a "huge Wing Bowl 16 announcement" will be made on Monday. If anyone hears what that announcement is, leave a comment (if OJ doesn't announce the news first).

I don't think tickets will go on sale tomorrow, but I could be wrong. It seems like WIP would announce when the tickets will go on sale at least a few days in advance (both on the air and online) in order to give people a chance to talk about it and get ready. Either way, I'll be ready to make the buy and, if they do go on sale tomorrow, I'll swoop in and buy 15 tickets for the whole gang. Stay tuned for updates.

UPDATE: As predicted, WIP only made an announcement about future Wing Bowl ticket sales. Tickets will go on sale on Wednesday, December 12 at 9 am for $5 each (same as last year).

"I YAM WHAT I YAM AND THAT'S ALL THAT I YAM!"

2007-11-24T17:09:00.000-05:00

Popeye and I have a lot in common. He joined the Navy, I joined the Navy. He eats spinach by the can, I eat spinach by the can (I'm still working on the "squeezing it into the air and catching it in my mouth" part). He smokes a pipe and has freakishly large forearms, I once smoked a pipe and...you get the point.

He was also fond of saying to anyone who would listen, "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam!" I don't really remember why he said that, but it got me thinking: When it comes to my classification as an eater, what am I?

Truth is, I've been defined as a lot of things. I've been called two-faced and a traitor (for eating in IFOCE contests and with AICE eaters). I've been called a blogger (because this website overshadows my eating skills, which I won't argue). I've been called "a limp-wristed pansy" (because I gagged on the balut...that stuff was nasty, people!). And, most recently, I was called "independent" (according to Carey, an unnamed assailant branded me with that label).

Funny thing is, "independent" is a pretty fair description of who I yam.

I'm not an IFOCE eater, meaning I'm not ranked or contracted by them and I don't limit myself solely to IFOCE contests. Honestly, the thought of swearing off local contests, restaurant challenges and competitions against friends is horrifying. I'm also not an AICE eater, even though the term "independent" is in their title. It's true that I have eaten with AICE eaters in restaurant challenges and I call more than a few of them friends, but I've never eaten in an officially sanctioned AICE contest.

So I guess that makes me an independent eater. There, I said it, I'm independent. Not tied down by contracts, rules, commissioners or any other organizational bodies. I eat what I want, when I want, with who want, where I want, and how I want. And, if I'm not feeling in the "fertilized chicken egg mood," I'll even eat as little as I want.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2007-11-20T22:08:00.000-05:00

On one day each year, everyone is a competitive eater. Of course, we call that day "Thanksgiving."

Is there any other day of the year that a majority of Americans come together to engage in a sport? I can't think of one. There's no "Hit a Ball With a Stick Day" in which everyone goes out in the backyard and plays a quick game of baseball. And good luck finding a "Skate Around on Ice and Slap a Puck Through a Net While No One Gives a Crap Day" (although they might call that "Saturday" in Canada).

Yes, competitive eating truly is America's pastime.

So enjoy your day fellow eaters. Fight your crazy Uncle Al for that drumstick. Cut that mass of cranberry sauce (the one in the shape of the can) into six pieces and take three for yourself. Have a second piece of pecan pie -- and then a third. And for dessert, eat the other drumstick.

PARTIALLY FORMED CHICKEN FETUSES TASTE BETTER THAN I THOUGHT THEY WOULD

2007-11-17T22:48:00.001-05:00

Not long ago at our office Halloween pot luck lunch party one of our web design guys (Edwin) brought half a dozen balut eggs to the festivities. For those unfamiliar with balut, it's an Asian delicacy described thusly on Wikipedia: "balut is a fertilized duck (or chicken) egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled alive and eaten in the shell." In other words, it's not something most people in the Western hemisphere would eat on a regular basis.

Edwin is from the Philippines and also eats in all of our office eating contests. We had been talking about digging into some balut eggs for a while and, as soon as I saw them all nestled in paper towels in that Tupperware container next to the sloppy joes I knew it wouldn't be long until Beau, Edwin and I were eating them. I just hoped that they weren't the "almost fully fertilized" embryos with the beaks and soft bones. Thankfully, these weren't.

According to Wikipedia, the type of balut we ate is 17 days old (preferred in the Philippines), whereas the Vietnamese prefer their balut 19 to 21 days old (with beak, feathers and claws).

Here's how the balut chow down went down. First of all, balut is always stored and served warm (or at room temperature). We cracked off the top and tilted it back to slurp the reddish broth that surrounds the fetus. It's not much liquid but it tastes salty and pretty much like egg juice would -- if eggs could be juiced. Then comes the fun part. With a fork, we scooped out a yellowish veiny mass followed by a white glob of something. Overall, the taste was sort of like an egg yolk, only slighty metallic and a little bit like blood. At the bottom of the egg was a hard, white mass which Edwin told us we weren't supposed to eat. We didn't argue with him.

I have to admit, I was a lot more skittish about my balut eating experience than Beau and Edwin were. We're already trying to figure out how to incorporate balut into an upcoming inter-office eating contest involving several disgusting foods. Oh boy. I can't wait.

WING BOWL SHOPPING LIST

2007-11-14T18:15:00.000-05:00

Some of you may have noticed the countdown under my mug shot on the right. It displays the time until midnight on Friday, February 1, 2008, seven hours before Wing Bowl (and roughly 6 hours before we're in the Wachovia Center). Technically, the first beer will be swigged and the grill will be fired up by 10pm on Thursday, January 31, but the countdown timer didn't let me input specific times.

Carey expressed concern in a comment on the previous post (in between tearing his house apart looking for that McDonald's training video) about whether or not we're ready to go. The good thing about Wing Bowl is, it doesn't require a lot of planning -- but it does require a little. Here's a rundown of what I think we'll need:

U(EPa)-Haul - This is our cave. We'll call ahead a few days before to reserve a small to medium sized vehicle (anyone remember what size we got last year?) and arrange to pick it up sometime on Thursday.

Stripper pole - Seriously, we need to figure out how to mount it to the U-Haul. It doesn't do any good propped up against the truck. I'm really hoping we don't have to drill into the side of the truck (but I'll do it if I have to).
Beer - And lots of it. The good thing is, with temperatures hovering around 20 degrees, we don't need a cooler!
Snacks - I still remember our late night shopping spree from last year. Chips, hot dogs, buns, more chips. We're not picky. Maybe this year we'll get some wings too.
Grill - Any cheap charcoal grill will do. Under $20 is fine, because this this will probably be thrown out the next day. We'll also need charcoal and lighter fluid.
Chairs - I think I still have my inflatable chair from last year. I have some pimpin' camping chairs too, but I'd have to haul them on the train. No biggie.
Other crap - This includes paper towels, trash bags, cigars, cameras, beads, and any other personal effects.

In this picture from last year's festivities (that guy was really happy that we let him use our grill), we see most of what we'll need. Except for the Coors Light. Seriously, who bought that?